Songs and poems

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Postby Garbo » Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:43 am

Thank you very much. :)

Some new stuff I wrote (I'm trying my hand at all sorts of genres):

'Tis about ND where I come from

Nostalgia for the Homeland

These veins of mine are cut off
And from them I must be transfused
With new blood
With new life
Somehow I must pour into them
City life
I must be put on a drip of Ivy League
And of bed drawn dreams
I must have a new liver of street wise
And my lungs must be wrought with smoke
From the club down the street
That advertises a new band each night

In the parting I have lost so much
And the smells are ancient to my touch
The dirt is no longer a part of my tendons
And my ligaments no longer harbour
The buffalo grass blowing in the breeze
My hair is no longer wind torn
And I no longer feel the hands of the West
Caress my cheek

This euphoria, I cannot let go
Even if those around me try to make it so
I would clasp from my collapsed veins
This IV that holds within it
All that is not apart of me nor ever should be
But the operation has made me weak
And the more I long the more I seek


And...

*FOREWARNING* some fairly graphic content

(not named yet)

He knew her father before he blew out his brains
And when he found her again
The needle was dripping from her veins
He took her in as a daughter never expecting her to become a lover

“Baby,” he whispered, “Baby”
That’s how it all began
He took her in, took her in
His mustache tickled her
And she wept the first time it happened
“Baby,” was all he whispered

He knew her father once
Ages ago, back in the police force
Back in the day
She was just a babe, allergic to honey bees
With wild hair and wild eyes
He never knew this is what it would become
With her in between his legs
“Baby,” he whispered as she came
“Baby,” was all that uttered from his lips

But she was a junkie, she said
She couldn’t leave that world behind
And the needle dripping from her veins
Baby, he whispered, baby don’t do this
He saw his wrinkles in the mirror
That hot Mexican heat she said
He felt his leather skin
And whispered Baby to himself

His mustache tickled her
That Mexican steam pouring off his skin
The humidity made it all the more easier
Baby baby baby he whispered as he lay between her legs
Baby baby baby he whispered as he came
The arches of her feet made the heat rise
And the cave of her neck smelled like rose buds
That’s what he said
He remembered her daddy and the bullet in his brain
He remembered the needle dripping from her vein
That strong Mexican night the alcohol made them sway
And he whispered “Baby” as she came
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Postby Phantas » Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:11 pm

I don't post poems often anymore...I have another place for that...but this one I had to share. I'm not one to think big of myself, but this one is the best I've written in ages IMHO:

Glass Heart

Cold is the rain that falls
where is the sun today?
The night brought only muted calls
you seem so far away

Dark is the hour that rings
upon this grey-mist morn
The day has still to take up wing
but my heart is torn

Plain are the minutes passing by
softly treads the hour
ticking away my grief, I smile
it fills me with such power

A glimpse of you is all I need
to make me forget pain
Make haste, return with greatest speed
and let me love again.


What do you guys think? :oops:

Love,
Phantas
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Postby Eternal_Silence » Thu May 01, 2008 8:34 pm

I really love it, it's beautiful!
There's in some way something contrasting in it - something dark, yet hope. You also use pretty english and a nice rhyme. Ik krijg er in ieder geval een mooi beeld bij. Nice job =)!

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Postby Killiney » Sat May 03, 2008 5:01 pm

(((((Phantas)))))

Absolutely beautiful.
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Killiney » Sat May 03, 2008 5:06 pm

First off, I'd like to thank Afer for helping me obtain my poems that I wrote ages ago. Thank you so much Afer. Secondly, I originally wrote them without titles, but added them later. Here's one that I quite like:

Strange Land

Days and days go by
but still
my heart is broken.
I search for my soul.
The candle has gone out.
Days and days go by
until I find myself upon your shore.
I look at the night sky
but it has clouded over.
No spark of constellation
no Vela
no Orion.
I walk to the mountains,
how wild they stare.
I climb the steps of life.
I see the break of morning
that hails a new beginning.
I walk to the ocean,
I walk upon the waters of life.
I find myself in a strange land.
I do not know my way.
I find an angel.
She shows me the way.
I obligingly follow.
I see the sun and the stars.
I am home.

---------------------

I think this one's better:

The Mists of Time

I walk across a land
of silence
of loss
and destruction.
I see my love.
He touches me
where my true heart dwells.
He answers me with silence.
He disappears into the mists of time.
I follow him.
I lose my way.
I find a land
of love
of hope
of song.
I hear an angel's song
above the birds' chorus.
I listen.
I will find my way home.
I will find him.
I will find my love.
--------------------------

what do you think?
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Phantas » Sun May 04, 2008 1:26 pm

good work ;)

Especially in the second one the emotion comes through, but personally I don't like the style in which it is written. That by all means does not make it a bad poem, ofcourse ;) Just, each to its own :)

Oh, and thanks all ;) I wrote that poem and almost instantly felt it was better than anything I had written before. I'm glad you all like it as much :)


Love,
Phantas
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Postby Killiney » Sun May 04, 2008 1:34 pm

Thanks Phantas.

I've written lots of poems, some of the newer ones are in this thread...

Thanks to Afer, I now have the poems I wrote a year or so a go.

Here's another :D

Paying the price

I am staring
from this mountain rest
I gaze upon my love
I gaze upon on my life.
I hear the raindrops pounding
pushing you out of my life.
I hear the raindrops.
An angel shows.
She tells me
'Its not too late'
is there still time?
I ask.
Her answer?
A song.
I listen.
I hear its words ringing.
I hear the death knells toll.
I am paying the price
for remaining on
this mountain.
I am paying the price.

--------------------------

And another :D

A Day Without Rain

Looking out of the window
at the world outside
waiting for this rain to cease.
Waiting for that day without rain.

The steady beat of
raindrops against the window,
the grey skies,
the rain falls slowly filling the rivers.

I am looking out at the world
from inside my warm home
waiting for the skies to part
and the sun to shine through.

The raindrops fall on to the ground
their sound rings out
in the silence all around.

Looking out at the world,
the rain falls,
never ending,
forever falling.

I am waiting
for the rains to stop
and the skies to part,
for the sun to shine through.

Forever waiting for that day without rain.
------------------------------------------------

I actually wrote this one today lol
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Garbo » Sun May 04, 2008 10:18 pm

Phantas wrote:good work ;)

Especially in the second one the emotion comes through, but personally I don't like the style in which it is written. That by all means does not make it a bad poem, ofcourse ;) Just, each to its own :)

Oh, and thanks all ;) I wrote that poem and almost instantly felt it was better than anything I had written before. I'm glad you all like it as much :)


Love,
Phantas


Sad to say, I don't know anyone (aside from scholars) who actually know how to write in true poetic form anymore. Because of that, I don't think there is any reason to criticize anyone's discipline or decision to write in whatever form they so choose. I'm not being harsh, but I'm just saying. ;)

Either way, I think that those poems posted are very pretty.
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Postby Killiney » Sun May 04, 2008 10:23 pm

Garbo wrote: I think that those poems posted are very pretty.


Thanks Garbo. I didn't know if you were referring to mine or Phantas'. Sorry :oops:
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Phantas » Mon May 05, 2008 10:47 am

Garbo wrote:
Phantas wrote:good work ;)

Especially in the second one the emotion comes through, but personally I don't like the style in which it is written. That by all means does not make it a bad poem, ofcourse ;) Just, each to its own :)

Oh, and thanks all ;) I wrote that poem and almost instantly felt it was better than anything I had written before. I'm glad you all like it as much :)


Love,
Phantas


Sad to say, I don't know anyone (aside from scholars) who actually know how to write in true poetic form anymore. Because of that, I don't think there is any reason to criticize anyone's discipline or decision to write in whatever form they so choose. I'm not being harsh, but I'm just saying. ;)

Either way, I think that those poems posted are very pretty.


I know - it wasn't a point of criticism either, just a personal taste issue. I like shorter sentences but not staccato, if you know what I mean - it jsut doesn't really seem a poem if you write only staccato lines...short lines of only a few words each. I like a bit more body on a poem in general. That's why I also mentioned that Killineys poems aren't bad :) It was my personal taste ;)

And don't worry - I'm not taking your post personal in any way! :D

Love,
Phantas
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Postby Killiney » Mon May 05, 2008 10:50 am

Each to their own Phantas
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Garbo » Mon May 05, 2008 12:47 pm

Phantas wrote:
Garbo wrote:
Phantas wrote:good work ;)

Especially in the second one the emotion comes through, but personally I don't like the style in which it is written. That by all means does not make it a bad poem, ofcourse ;) Just, each to its own :)

Oh, and thanks all ;) I wrote that poem and almost instantly felt it was better than anything I had written before. I'm glad you all like it as much :)


Love,
Phantas


Sad to say, I don't know anyone (aside from scholars) who actually know how to write in true poetic form anymore. Because of that, I don't think there is any reason to criticize anyone's discipline or decision to write in whatever form they so choose. I'm not being harsh, but I'm just saying. ;)

Either way, I think that those poems posted are very pretty.


I know - it wasn't a point of criticism either, just a personal taste issue. I like shorter sentences but not staccato, if you know what I mean - it jsut doesn't really seem a poem if you write only staccato lines...short lines of only a few words each. I like a bit more body on a poem in general. That's why I also mentioned that Killineys poems aren't bad :) It was my personal taste ;)

And don't worry - I'm not taking your post personal in any way! :D

Love,
Phantas


You ought to read the Cavalier poets then. ;) Short, choppy sentences were all the rage once. Chaucer did it a bit too. Short choppy sentences were a poetic device used in early British poets and a very effective one too.

However, as I stated, I think both of you write nice poetry, but I would never base it on form because, in all honestly, neither writes in form. And that seems to be the new thing so, there you go. :D
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Postby Killiney » Mon May 05, 2008 12:51 pm

I think poetry is a way of expressing ones feelings, whether in longer, or shorter sentences/verses. I feel that all the poems posted here are pleasent. They have a certain something about them
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Killiney » Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:26 pm

I might just be getting back into poetry :D

Angel's Light

There is a light,
a light that shines,
from my heart,
throught the land.

A light that will never fade
will never hide
from you,
nor will it die.

You make this light,
bright against the blackness
this ligt that shines,
is for you,
my angel.

There is solace in my heart,
there is comfort,
this flicker of light
grows stronger,
because of you,
my angel.

Oh if only all were like you,
the angel that looks from on high,
the guiding voice
that gently soothes,
lights the way.

Light shines from a special place,
one only you know how to reach.
A light flickers in the dark,
calling me.

My angel,
you created this light,
this warmth,
this comfort.

A light shines through
the darkes times,
a light that guides,
that calls,
your light,
my angel.

There is love to be had,
the light will grow strong,
because of you,
my angel,
this light shines.
Behind the innocent,
the last, the least and the lost
will be found in the storm

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Postby Phantas » Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:50 pm

Just to keep a discussion alive on poetry...I feel that for myself I like not using the same word twice (like, i.e. Light, or angel, or love etc...those kind of words) in the same poem, or at least not in the same verse. I don't know if anyone else feels the same?
It's okay all in all ofcourse, but it might help in constructing further poems to use words with a similar meaning but different tone or a different word with the same meaning altogether! Like, for example, sea and ocean. It might be a point to consider for those poets who do not use it. Sometimes it makes the poem better in a big way. Personally I like experimenting with that, and really develops your skills in writing poetry with even more feeling and meaning than before.

If I would compare my earliest poems with the ones I write today - there's such a big difference in emotion and eloquence.

Who knows, it might be a tip for starting poets or poets who are 'stuck in a rut' as they say ;)

Love,
Phantas
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