Songs and poems

A forum for the exchange of musical, lyrical and creative ideas.

Moderators: nessieq, gregoing, All Moderators

Postby Methica » Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:04 pm

Ocean’s Words of Friendship

Ramdom thoughts come up,
When I think of you
And I know I won’t forget you
No matter what, no matter when
Emotionless I speak
I say what’s in my heart
Still you don’t know the meaning

My words are now on paper
My thoughts written in ink
But still you don’t know
What I want to say
Because loss and emotions
Are lost emotions
They fly away

I will remember you
Don’t forget to remember me
Love is my new feeling
But just when you are near to me
Loss, alone, some other feelings
Now that you are here

My words drift away
On a thousend mile ocean
Phrases flow on waves
Landing on a paper shore
You stand there waiting
To read and listen to all

Thought I lost you,
You already said goodbye
Loss was my emotion then
Soon followed by alone
You were my new friend,
My best in a few days
But when you said you were leaving...

A new surprise
You told me something
You were staying
No more loss
Not alone
Back in my heart
Not out of sight

Now you’re staying
Back in this land
Loved ones coming too
I hope to see you soon
You’re gone for a little while
But you will come back

A far far country
You are there, I am here
Oceans, seas between us now
But know that I am there,
In your heart, with my words
So we will stay friends,
Nothing can tear us apart!!
Last edited by Methica on Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Imperfect is the new perfect
User avatar
Methica
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 6353
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:16 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Postby Eternal_Silence » Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:56 pm

I like it, Methica. It sounds like you and your friend are really close friends ^ ^ I don't know if you're going to let her (it was a she right? :mrgreen:) read it, but I'm sure she'll like it a lot ^ ^ I only noticed one spelling mistake here:

My words drift away
On a thousend mile ocean
Frases flow on waves >>> I think you mean Phrases? ^ ^
Landing on a paper shore
You stand there waiting
To read and listen to all

And here one word I wasn't sure if you used it correctly as well (of course I'm not trying to like correct your poem ;) ^ ^ )

Thought I lost you,
You already said goodbye
Loss was my emotion then
Soon followed by alone >>> maybe loneliness instead of alone? ^ ^
You were my new friend,
My best in a few days
But when you said you were leaving...

I like it!

The turn of the day, when all music fools come out to play until the drunk turn of night.
http://www.singingriver.deviantart.com
User avatar
Eternal_Silence
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 3716
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 6:59 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Postby Garbo » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:35 pm

This is from my poetry class (I'll put more up later). This was one of the favourites, obviously because of the content, haha.

What wondrous tempests tossed
Back and forth, with an ebb and flow
In a circular motion
Draining down the porcelain frame

Round and round it succumbs to my delights
Back and forth, with an ebb and flow
With a gentle touch of its handy lever
I am taken aback with its marvels

Its white porcelain frame is no match to its adversaries
All of whom are struck by its charms
One must wonder where it all goes
Through that dark tunnel, that cavernous mouth

Men are in puzzlement
Over whether its adornment goes up or down
And women scold in terror
At the prospect of being drowned

But lo, the bitter scent of doom lies near
If one chambermaid does not do her duty
And rid that abhorred scent that hovers
So frightfully in the air

Behind closed doors this statue of greatness does exist
Sitting quietly at its best
Unless-
One unsuspecting user gets caught in its traps
And does gain the mark of shame
A ring around the bottom of the dweller
An omen of the power of the loo
Image
epic
User avatar
Garbo
Really Enthusiastic Member
 
Posts: 926
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:00 pm

Postby Eternal_Silence » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:31 pm

I really like that poem, Garbo. I think it sounds powerful even though I didn't understand every word - some I don't know ^ ^ You should write more or post more if you have any more poems =D Image

The turn of the day, when all music fools come out to play until the drunk turn of night.
http://www.singingriver.deviantart.com
User avatar
Eternal_Silence
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 3716
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 6:59 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Postby Garbo » Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:38 am

Eternal_Silence wrote:I really like that poem, Garbo. I think it sounds powerful even though I didn't understand every word - some I don't know ^ ^ You should write more or post more if you have any more poems =D Image



Oh thank you very much. :) It's just about the toilet so nothing to understand there. :D I was inspired by Swift.
Image
epic
User avatar
Garbo
Really Enthusiastic Member
 
Posts: 926
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:00 pm

Postby Methica » Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:15 am

Eternal_Silence wrote:I like it, Methica. It sounds like you and your friend are really close friends ^ ^ I don't know if you're going to let her (it was a she right? :mrgreen:) read it, but I'm sure she'll like it a lot ^ ^ I only noticed one spelling mistake here:

My words drift away
On a thousend mile ocean
Frases flow on waves >>> I think you mean Phrases? ^ ^
Landing on a paper shore
You stand there waiting
To read and listen to all

And here one word I wasn't sure if you used it correctly as well (of course I'm not trying to like correct your poem ;) ^ ^ )

Thought I lost you,
You already said goodbye
Loss was my emotion then
Soon followed by alone >>> maybe loneliness instead of alone? ^ ^
You were my new friend,
My best in a few days
But when you said you were leaving...

I like it!


I changed the f to ph, but alone is staying.. :lol:, ofcourse, loneliness can be used, but I don't really know why I chose just the word alone,,
and yes, it was a she... :P

@garbo, nice poem,,, loved reading it... :D
Imperfect is the new perfect
User avatar
Methica
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 6353
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:16 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Postby Eternal_Silence » Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:21 am

Garbo wrote:
Eternal_Silence wrote:I really like that poem, Garbo. I think it sounds powerful even though I didn't understand every word - some I don't know ^ ^ You should write more or post more if you have any more poems =D Image



Oh thank you very much. :) It's just about the toilet so nothing to understand there. :D I was inspired by Swift.


Hehe well even if it's about a toilet, I thought you used words that made it sound good :mrgreen:

And Methica:
It's your poem ;)

The turn of the day, when all music fools come out to play until the drunk turn of night.
http://www.singingriver.deviantart.com
User avatar
Eternal_Silence
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 3716
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 6:59 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Postby eadgyth » Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:20 pm

That's a wonderful poem, Garbo! Until I got to the last line I had absolutely no idea what it was all about, expecting something completely different. But it all makes wonderful sense - love it!
User avatar
eadgyth
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 1080
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:31 pm
Location: Austria

Postby Garbo » Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:45 pm

Thanks everyone. :)

This is sort of the antithesis to the normal love poem. So many people talked about their "soul mates" and I feel bad in saying I got sort of sick of the mushy stuff. So I wrote this about my boyfriend and I in five of our scenarios together. The third part is a little confusing (my class said) and he never cheated on me, but he has his own business and is gone a lot so I joke that he went off with 'her', meaning his work.

A Love Poem

I

He hates it when I mention something of Tony Hopkins
But rather than picking a fight
(Because he knows I’m playing with him)
He merely gives me a look
That so simply states:
“Will you quit talking about your old man crush when I’m here?”

II

“The man that loves me will buy me a Friesian horse.”
I say this to him after his attempt to get me into Zales
His face becomes perplexed at the thought
And he turns to me,
“But what about an engagement ring?”

III

I don’t like saying goodbye
(That’s not necessarily going on)
It just feels like it sometimes
But there’s that other woman that interferes
She’s very cunning too
Driving him all over the country,
Making him invent ideas
Just for her
But he has to work to make money

IV

I know you love me
But sometimes it’s just so hard
To not let life get in our way

V

We listen to Lebanese music
In our own silence
And as your fork scrapes across your plate
And you look at me with that slight smile
It’s no wonder I love you
Image
epic
User avatar
Garbo
Really Enthusiastic Member
 
Posts: 926
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:00 pm

Postby Luned » Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:07 pm

Garbo wrote:The third part is a little confusing (my class said) and he never cheated on me, but he has his own business and is gone a lot so I joke that he went off with 'her', meaning his work.

Oh yes, without your explanation it does sound a bit confusing, but as it stands I find it tricky and hence more interesting :)
As for the previous poem, I think your modern metaphysical conceit is brilliant! It was fun to read :D
User avatar
Luned
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 1018
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:19 pm
Location: Poland

Postby Phantas » Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:15 pm

Garbo...your love poem works really well ;) Especially the last verse is sublime!

Glad that you joined in :) :) :) LOL


A Window

I see a window
beyond the darkness inside
a glaring white square
letting bright light in
bathing the room

From the window
I watch the street below
I watch the sky above
people moving onward
clouds moving onward

Sounds trail in
from the open square
song of bird in flight
of couples in a fight
or loving way too much

I close my window
some thoughts waver
dwelling on the horizon
of my lingering mind
but now it's gone

Ah, darkness setting in again
Ah, the blessed silence
How come a window
can be both blessing and curse?
When will it be - just a window.



hmmm... not my best :P

Love,
Phantas
lost in the aether, leave a message...
User avatar
Phantas
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 1176
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2003 6:51 pm
Location: Rotterdam, The Netherlands

Postby Garbo » Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:00 pm

Luned wrote:
Garbo wrote:The third part is a little confusing (my class said) and he never cheated on me, but he has his own business and is gone a lot so I joke that he went off with 'her', meaning his work.

Oh yes, without your explanation it does sound a bit confusing, but as it stands I find it tricky and hence more interesting :)
As for the previous poem, I think your modern metaphysical conceit is brilliant! It was fun to read :D


Thank you! As a Donne scholar, I'm attempting to try my hand at conceits, although I don't think I have the talent for it as the great predecessor. *swoons* I have such a crush on Donne. :)
Image
epic
User avatar
Garbo
Really Enthusiastic Member
 
Posts: 926
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:00 pm

I'll join the fun!

Postby ealaiontoir » Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:44 pm

Rolling Makes It Bigger


It all starts with a handful
Squish it together
Set it down really careful
Then roll it in the cold weather

You can see your breath
As you roll it along
Dress warmly or you will catch your death
Soon you will be singing a song

All about the snowman named Frosty
It will be so much fun
And it isn’t very costly
There’s the bottom done!

Look at him go!
He must have done this before
There he is setting the middle on just so
I cannot wait to see what is in store

"Are you going to just stand there?
Or are you going to help me?
Do you not care?
Will I have to put you over my knee?"

My giggles bubbled up and over
I kissed his frown away
"You are more rare than a four leaf clover
Only you can hold my heart sway"

"I am holding a head
That’s what I am holding
Though I wish it were your heart instead
It has been all this snow I have been molding"

"Let us put a smile on this head of snow
Rocks will do just swell
Then it is inside the house we will go
I am not going to kiss and tell"
tá blas na seacláide air!
ealaiontoir
Member
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:29 am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Postby Eternal_Silence » Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:04 pm

That's a really nice poem, ealaiontoir ^ ^. I think it has a sweet kind of innocent feeling. I dunno, I like it =)

The turn of the day, when all music fools come out to play until the drunk turn of night.
http://www.singingriver.deviantart.com
User avatar
Eternal_Silence
Addicted to Moya
 
Posts: 3716
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 6:59 pm
Location: The Netherlands

checked out your site

Postby ealaiontoir » Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:08 am

I am not sure whether to call you Singing River or the name you go by on Moya's forum, but your photography is really good! Are you going to art college? The deviant site says you are 17, so does this place you in high school? Or have you completed grade 12? Very impressive! Thanks for the comment on the poem! It's a fun one I wrote in November of 2006. I started writing Sonnets on February 25th, 2006, and they just keep coming out. I must admit, out of the three forums I joined this year, this one is the most interesting by far!

Slán go foill,
Ealaiontoir
tá blas na seacláide air!
ealaiontoir
Member
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:29 am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

PreviousNext

Return to Musicians and Writers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron